Monday, January 21, 2019

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

My Rejoicing Journal

Adapted from “Self-Esteem Journal,”

Something I did well today . . .
Today I had fun when . . .
I felt glad when . . .

Today I accomplished . . .
I had a positive experience with . . .
Something I did for someone . . .

I felt good about myself when . . .
I was pleased with someone else . . .
Today was interesting because . . .

I felt glad when . . .
A positive thing I witnessed . . .
Today I accomplished . . .

Something I did well today . . .
I had a positive experience with . . .
I was pleased with someone when . . .

Today I had fun when . . .
Something I did for someone . . .
I felt good about myself when . . .

A positive thing I witnessed . . .
Today was interesting because . . .
I felt glad when . . .


Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Occupational Therapy for Aspies

Image result for kid on tire swing images

I gathered these tips from a local occupational therapist who spoke at my Mothers of PreSchoolers group in 2014.

Level of High Arousal
  • Excited
  • Hyper
  • Restless
Prescription to Calm Down
  • Rocking
  • Heavy Lifting
  • Pressing Against Something Immovable
  • Closing Your Eyes
  • Breathing Deeply
  • Tensing Muscles to a Count of 40
Level of Low Arousal
  • Zoning Out
  • Tired
  • Drowsy
  • Bored
Prescription to Calm Up
  • Spinning
  • Dangling Head Upside-Down
  • Pacing
  • Making Figure Eights with Each Arm in Turn
  • Making Figure Eights with Each Hand Over Each Foot
  • Dancing
  • Listening to Peppy Music
  • Swinging
  • Eating Candy or Chocolate
  • Drinking Cold Water
Level of Midtone Arousal
  • Comfort
  • Peaceful
  • Ideal for Learning
Prescription to Stay Calm
  • Swaying Side-to-Side
  • Listening to Soft Music
  • Humming
  • Singing
  • Smiling
  • Breathing Deeply
  • Keeping Good Posture
  • Writing Your Thoughts
  • Getting Comfortable in Your Body
  • Not Letting Crowds or Chaos Affect You
    (See Solutions for the Highly Sensitive Person)

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

"The Man With Two Left Feet" by P. G. Wodehouse

I enjoy listening to The Classic Tales Podcast, in which B. J. Harrison reads aloud old favorites and more obscure pieces that are in the public domain. When I clicked on "The Man With Two Left Feet," I came across Harrison's accurate interpretation of the main character's traits of Asperger's syndrome.
Now, I know that the definition of autism has been evolving since 1908 until what it is today, but I think that the hero of today’s story is on what is now considered the autism spectrum. My reasons for saying this?

1) His method of study is unorthodox, and requires an incredible amount of tenacity, even fixation. Most people couldn’t do this. This is what I term the autism super power.

2) His unwillingness to vary his study schedule of the Encyclopedia (He won’t skip a volume).

3) He imagines a fantasy scheme where his problems are all solved, and works diligently to accomplish this impossible task.

4) He is rather socially awkward, bless him.
This is no way official, and I can’t back it up with anything other than my own observations, but when I read this story, it struck me how my autistic son has many of these same character traits. He also demonstrates the autism super power, and is a truly amazing boy. I find it encouraging that P.G. Wodehouse saw how characters of this temperament could find happiness and love in a world that largely misunderstands them.
Maybe you'd like to hear or read "The Man With Two Left Feet" yourself - and who knows? - maybe you'll see yourself reflected there. The link to The Classic Tales Podcast is no longer working, so here is a link to another reader's interpretation of Wodehouse's comical work.

Section 09 in Short Story Collection Vol. 065 on Librivox


Friday, February 5, 2016

Parenting Strategies for Aspies

Welcome back to myself as a blogger! It's been six months since I last wrote a post, and I want to thank those of you who have continued to view this blog and read or reread the content already on here. I also wanted to let you know about my Facebook page, which is entitled, "Asperger's Traits and Christian Living." It's the best place to stay alert to new posts on the blog, so please "Like" and "Share," if you're on Facebook.

As to why I let the blog lag for six months, the biggest reason is that I'm expecting a baby, and morning sickness hit me with a vengeance this time, my second pregnancy. A friend predicted that it would be a boy, based on the fact that this experience with morning sickness was very different (much worse) than my experience with my first pregnancy, a girl. She was right! Please keep me (Sharon Rose) and my family in your prayers as we prepare for our baby boy to join us in early summer, Lord willing.

As I grow as a parent, it brings my mind back to my relationship with my own parents as a child. Both of my parents identify with the core Asperger's traits, though in other ways, their personalities are very different. I'd like to list a few ways they helped me to cultivate helpful Asperger's traits and overcome the limiting traits.

1. Starting when I was three, my dad trained me to smile for pictures. His efforts produced a range of smiles, from half-smiles with only one corner turned up, to cheesy "show your teeth" smiles. (He literally said, "Show your teeth," LOL.) But after I practiced, the smiles became more natural, and I have been unable to NOT smile for pictures ever since. I know two ladies with Asperger's traits who simply didn't smile well when they were little, and were teased about being grumpy all the time, when they actually felt fine. Sometimes, with Aspies, emotions don't reach the face accurately, though with others of us, emotions show too readily at times when they should be hid.

2. My dad's sense of humor involved making up silly stories and seeing if he could get me to believe them. Although he didn't know it, this strategy probably helped me a lot in combating the usual Asperger's traits of taking things literally and accepting without question that others are as honest and forthright as you are. If you use this tactic for humor, I just caution that you do what my dad always did, and explain quickly that you are "teasin', trickin', and foolin'." If you string somebody along too far, they will end up feeling that the joke is on them, and will resent it. By the time I was seven, I could judge when my dad was kidding based on his tone of voice and twinkle in his eye, thereby adding to my ability to interpret nonverbal language, which is a struggle for many Aspies.

3. Fast forward to my teenage years . . . My parents let me know exactly what kind of social behavior was annoying or inappropriate. This felt like nagging and criticism to me, but I needed it. Two of the biggies were: Don't mumble. ("I'm not talking to you - I'm talking to myself," I would reply. Yeah. Not socially acceptable, but a classic case of introspection taking precedence over communication.) Don't ignore me when I've said your name. (Extremely hard to do when I had my nose buried in a book, but I finally snapped out of it when my mom jabbed at my pride by putting up a star chart, "like teachers do for kindergartners," as she said.)

I think three examples will do for now! In case you're wondering, my parents are still around now, still married to each other, and still two of my closest friends. My dad just doesn't do "teasin', trickin', and foolin'," like he used to.


Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Two Straws or One

My mirror told me I was a pretty girl, in spite of my painful braces and pair of glasses. I had long, brunette hair that served me well as a hairstyling hobby. As a freshman at Clearwater Christian College, I was eager for new friends to bond with . . . maybe even a boyfriend.

As Darren strutted into the campus cafe, the first words out of his mouth were, “Sharon Rose Edgerton!” And he sat down on a stool next to me at the counter.

Darren had the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen, and a skin tone that had always been tan.  He didn’t have dimples, but when he smiled, I felt like he was giving me a gift.

Now, young men who could speak English were scarce where I came from, so I was glowing with his attention.

I remember Darren asking me, “Can you speak Japanese?”

“Yes, I’m good enough at it,” I told him.

He asked, “ Can you carry on a conversation, like we’re having right now?”

“Yes,” I said. Then I mentioned my best friend Mary.  “She’s a missionary kid, too,” I said.

“You must miss her,” Darren stated. I noticed how good he looked in that bright blue dress shirt. Bright blue might be my next favorite color. Hmm.

“Yes,” I replied, “But our parents are really good about getting us together whenever possible.”

Then it was my turn to ask questions. “How about you?  Do you speak any foreign languages?”

Darren frowned and looked away from me.

“Have you been to any other countries?” I persisted.

“When I was little, I went to Mexico with my dad,” he said.

“Ever go on missions trips?”

He responed with more frowns, and then turned to the cafe worker and asked, “Can I get a cookies n cream milkshake?”

“Sure.”  The guy mixed up a milkshake, put the lid on the cup, and said in a low voice, “Do you want two straws with that?”

“Not this early in the relationship,” replied Darren, in a stage whisper. “But you could pour it into two cups. Can’t get through the day without chocolate!  So I thanked him and devoured my share of the shake.

On Friday, I stopped in at my friend’s dorm room.  “Hi, Sharon Rose!” said Jess Lynn. “Come on in. We have some spare time before our next class.”

I brought up the person who was on my mind. “Do you know Darren Everest?” I asked. “He talked with me the other night in the cafe.”

“Yeah, I went to high school with Darren, up in Pennsylvania,” said Jess Lynn.


“Yeah.  His parents are missionaries to Ukraine.”
“Wait. Are you sure he’s a missionary kid?”
“Yes. He went to my school for tenth grade, spent eleventh grade in Ukraine, and came back and graduated with my class,” said Jess Lynn.

At first, I was delighted.  No wonder we had hit it off so well.  Darren could understand me because he had faced similar experiences!  But at the same time, I was mystified.

“I specifically asked him, ‘Have you been to any other countries?’ And he wouldn’t answer!”

Jess Lynn offered no explanation. “I guess you’ll have to ask him about it.”

Later, on our ride home, I told my mom what I had learned. “He was downright deceitful, Mom!  He knew I was an MK, but he wouldn’t tell me that he was.  Why would he keep that a secret?”

“I don’t know, honey.”

 “How am I going to tell Darren that I found out?”

“I don’t know, Sharon Rose,” Mom repeated. “I’m sorry he didn’t tell you he had been to Ukraine.  You looked so cute when I came into the cafe and saw you with Darren.  You had your head propped on your hands, turned his direction, with your ponytail over your shoulder.  I can’t figure Darrenout,” Mom concluded.

She and I were awake most of the night, puzzling about Darren Everest, and we finally decided to go for an early-morning walk. 
We stopped in at a restaurant for breakfast.  As soon as we were seated, Mom put her head in her hands and said, “Sharon Rose, these boys are taking forever to grow up!  You’ve been a teenager for so many years now . . . and I’m so tired of waiting!”

A waitress hurried up and said, “I’m sorry, I got here as fast as I could.”

I did let Darren know I knew. I wrote him a letter, which he acknowledged, and he no longer hid his MK status from me. Now at least, I knew for sure.

Many things happened as the days moved on. Acting in The Sound of Music was what I loved best about my first semester in college.  I had done a lot of acting in Japan, learning my lines in Japanese.  This play seemed to connect me with my past.

I knew that Darren didn’t want me around, but I shamelessly chased him. After all, I was only 18, and immature in many ways.  To me, Darren Everest was mysterious and fascinating. 

All this time, I had been confiding in Jess Lynn. “He’s got a big ego,” she told me.

I wanted to know why she said that.

“In high school, he was always talking about Ukraine and what he had done there, and kids made fun of him because of that.”

So Darren used to be an MK who bragged.  Then, attempting to balance out, he had gone to the other extreme, refusing to talk about Ukraine at all.  Didn’t that prove that he was trying not to have a big ego?  I wasn’t sure.

My parents took my problems to my Bible professor, and he summoned Darren to his office.  I waited outside.

When our professor called me in, I got an apology from Darren for “coming on” to me.  We also talked about my loneliness, and how I needed to pray and wait for friendships. Darren looked gorgeous, even while wearing orange – a color I normally hate.

My jaw dropped and my eyebrows shot up when Darren gave me another peek into his MK experience. He described his emotions during the time he left his home in the Ukraine for Pennsylvania. “I used to cry every night,” he said. “I missed my home and my friends, and I got picked on in high school for talking about the Ukraine. That’s why I don’t like to talk about it anymore. I’d rather keep my mouth shut and fit in.”

“You used to cry every night?” I repeated, in shock. “I cried every morning, because I didn’t want to wake up in Pennsylvania, instead of in Japan. And I’m still crying now!”

But I was comforted.  The Bible professor insisted that I promise not to send Darren any more letters or give him any telephone calls.  We were to be casual friends only.  So I agreed.

“Okay,” I said. “I understand better now. Thank you for your kindness, Darren – truly.” 

The best thing about my friendship with Darren may have been this poem I wrote about him – or rather, about an exaggerated version of him! These are new words to the song the nuns sing about Maria in The Sound of the Music.
When I’m with him, I feel stressed.
He’s my focus; I’m obsessed.
He can send me into dithers of delight.
With an ego that’s so huge,
He’s a guy I’d hate to lose.
He’s a cute one, he’s a hot one, hold him tight!
He’ll politely tell you lies.
You’ll get lost in his dark eyes.
He’s a heartthrob!  He’s addictive!  He’s a man!

How do you solve a problem like Darren?
How do you grab his shirt and pin him down?
How do you find a word describing Darren?
A player, a flirt, a king (of hearts).
Many a thing you’d love to hear him tell you
Many a thing you try to understand.
But how do you catch his eye?
Without him you know you’ll cry!
How can one guy be so much in demand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Darren?
How do you let him know you think he’s grand?

The following year, guess who I saw in the office hallway when I went to pay my tuition? Darren Everest – in a lime green shirt. He greeted me, saying, “You look different now, Sharon Rose, with your braces and glasses gone.”

I glanced away, then met Darren’s deep brown eyes head-on. I paused, and replied sincerely, “I hope I am different.”


Thursday, June 11, 2015

A Pride and Prejudice Quote

Mr. Darcy: I fear I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers. . . . I have not that talent that some possess of conversing easily with strangers.

Elizabeth: I do not play this instrument so well as I should wish to - but I have always supposed that to be my own fault - because I would not take the trouble of practicing.