Ever since the day I turned 13, I have been prone to depression - not the blues, not the grumps, but full-blown, full-scale depression. Here are some thoughts that oppress me during those times when my soul feels desolate:
- I'm inadequate to do what I'm expected to do.
- There's no purpose or enjoyment in any of this.
- I can't handle any of these changes in my life.
- I think it's too hard to make and keep friends, so I'm not going to try.
- Nobody could possibly understand my feelings, and I don't know how to put them in words anyway.
- My brain isn't processing well. I can't concentrate. I can't learn.
- I'm wasting my life. I'm not learning and doing as much as everyone else is.
- People are telling me I'm not smiling or talking. They're asking me what's wrong. That's strange.
- I don't want to make any decisions - especially not life-changing decisions.
"AND AMONG THESE NATIONS SHALT THOU FIND NO EASE, NEITHER SHALL THE SOLE OF THY FOOT HAVE REST: BUT THE LORD SHALL GIVE THEE THERE A TREMBLING HEART, AND FAILING OF EYES, AND SORROW OF MIND."