Please Make Christmas STOP!

What exactly did the Grinch hate about Christmas, and why? I just listened to the beginning of How the Grinch Stole Christmas read aloud. It seems that mean ol' Mr. Grinch particularly hated the noise, the feasting, and the hand-holding, singing, group-hug type stuff. What's so bad about any of that?

I'm here to state that if you've got an extreme case of Asperger's syndrome, there's plenty to complain about right there.

Yesterday, I was tired after the previous day of editing (my part-time job), then volunteering at church that morning, then sitting at a park bench trying to relax. But I needed new shoes and decided to push myself and go right then, instead of heading home for a soak in the tub. Guess what greeted me at the two shoe stores I entered? Christmas music!!!! And not even peaceful, classical music, or cheery, childlike music. No, this was more like grate-on-your nerves, annoy-you-to-tears, get-me-outta-here Christmas music - what I would call poor quality. But I needed shoes. So, like the Grinch did for 53 years before he made up his mind to put a stop to Christmas, I endured the noise, noise, noise, noise, NOISE, all to try on lots of shoes that pinched my feet in every possible place.

Ironic, isn't it, that Dr. Suess suggested that the Grinch's sour attitude might be because his shoes were too tight . . . I can understand that.

And the feasting the Grinch abhorred so much? Is that so negative to an Aspie? Um, yes. What is the exact purpose of feasting, my friends? Is it to make people feel bloated, stuffed, fat, and slothful? Because we usually do . . . don't we? Yet most people think feasting is a social activity that must not be skipped! They think gulping down cookies and brownies the size of soap cakes has to be done for the sake of dear old Grandma, who baked four dozen too many. For me, an Aspie who can reason her way out of the tightest mental maze, this being-nice-to-Grandma stuff just does not compute. Grandma is not that easily hurt by anything her grandbabies refuse to do. Besides, this Aspie is full already, and if she eats anymore, she will be - oh, no, not that! - UNCOMFORTABLE. Mr. Grinch, you have my empathy!

Then there's everybody's favorite part of Christmas - the Christmas programs! Yay! During the month of December, let's make a worldwide pact to place the highest, most stringent, most grueling and "rewarding" of expectations on our choir members, musicians, actors, and ESPECIALLY - ooh, Grammy and Gramps can't wait for this part - our children. This year's Christmas program will be better than last year's . . . or else.

Let's get together and stand in our too-tight shoes, hour after hour, rehearsing on weekends and weeknights, singing our hearts out to Jesus, while all the moms meanwhile try to remember if they forgot to buy a present for cousin what's-his-name whose likes and dislikes have changed forty times since last year. Let's insist on perfection from our children and call it "musical training." Oh, yeah, that sounds like perpetual fun. I vote we do that again next year!

Can you hear my sarcasm, y'all? Thought I'd better check to make sure the Aspies don't take me literally.

So! Solutions for the Grinch in all of us may include:
1) Thanking the Lord that December is only 1/12 of the full year.
2) Making sure our shoes fit right.
3) Cutting back on those social obligations. I really hate to disappoint my friends, but I'll hate it worse if I turn into a grump-a-lump for my family after one party too many. And in December, what with all that NOISE, one party is definitely too many for me. Come spend time with me one-on-one if you miss me, folks. :)
4) Participating in programs? Yeah, it's fun, but I've been there, and I've done that, and I'm done. Lord willing, I'll never sing in a Christmas choir again. Bad things happen. Things like car accidents the night of the second Christmas banquet because I was too tired to pay attention . . . and trips to the hospital in January because I overdid it performing in two plays and a piano recital during the Christmas season. I'd prefer to learn from my mistakes.
5) Realizing that people probably won't hate you if you don't give them a present or three or seven. If they stop being your friend after you accidentally/on purpose forgot their Christmas present, hey, who wants friends like that, anyway? Give them just-because-you-love-them gifts throughout the year, and see if that doesn't touch their hearts more!
6)Remembering that what Jesus taught about the Sabbath could very well apply to the holiday season as well. People were not made for the sake of Christmas, but Christmas was made for the sake of people. It's the time when we are supposed to be celebrating God's love for us, like the Whos down in Whoville, who liked Christmas a lot. It's good to like Christmas if Christmas truly brings you closer to Jesus and closer to the people Jesus came for.

"AND [JESUS] SAID UNTO THEM, THE SABBATH WAS MADE FOR MAN, AND NOT MAN FOR THE SABBATH."

"FOR THUS SAITH THE LORD GOD, THE HOLY ONE ISRAEL; IN RETURNING AND REST SHALL YE BE SAVED; IN QUIETNESS AND IN CONFIDENCE SHALL BE YOUR STRENGTH: AND YE WOULD NOT."

"EVERY MAN ACCORDING AS HE PURPOSETH IN HIS HEART, SO LET HIM GIVE; NOT GRUDGINGLY, OR OF NECESSITY: FOR GOD LOVETH A CHEERFUL GIVER."

Sounds (and Feels) Familiar

 Now that I am writing this blog, I am becoming more aware of terms that relate to Asperger's syndrome and autism. One of these terms is Sensory Processing Disorder (formerly referred to as Sensory Integration Dysfunction). I stumbled onto this term while completing a medical questionnaire, and found out that it's an experience I am very familiar with--only I always described Sensory Processing Disorder with these words: "I can't get comfortable."

For me, though, the intensity of SPD is generally on a lower scale, more along the lines of High Sensitivity. I discovered a long time ago that I am what is termed a Highly Sensitive Person. My normal daily experience fits the HSP profile better than the SPD profile (thank God). For an explanation of the difference, see this FAQ on "The Highly Sensitive Person."

When overstimulation strikes out of the blue, I may start behaving in a strange way, because my discomfort is absolutely intolerable. Finding relief may be the only thing I can think about, and sometimes I can't politely and patiently explain why I burst into tears, hurry out of a crowded room, or get that sudden pained expression on my face.

This is how auditory sensitivity feels in a public restaurant: stressful. Understanding one person's words can be very hard, when my brain is fighting to screen out the sounds of customers chattering, silverware clinking, water being poured, chairs being scraped, music crooning across the sound system, the footsteps of the servers, the central heating / cooling system, doors opening and shutting, racket from the kitchen, laughter, chewing, and slurping. My heart rate is up just from defining all those sounds! And, no, I'm not in a restaurant listening right now. These sounds are memorized from long exposure, and I hate them. I hate them because they are too loud. They make a fun time with friends exhausting for me. 

I think I'll go back to bed.

Oh, yeah. Bed can be exhausting too. When I used to tell my dad and mom, night after night, "I can't get comfortable," I was in bed! Who thinks bed is uncomfortable, huh? Only a highly sensitive person, I'm thinking . . . .

I am blessed that SPD does not affect my enjoyment of hugs, as it does for so many autistic people. Tactile sensitivity strikes in peculiar ways. There are those who hate the feel of a tag in an undershirt and have worn their undershirts inside out for decades. There are those who put off haircuts as long as possible, simply because they don't like to feel the barber touching their heads. There are those whose family laughingly call them porcupines because they wiggle out of any embrace. It's not being weird. It's being on the autism spectrum.

Light and smells can also be overpowering to many Aspies. Chronic headaches can be triggered by hypersenstivity to perfumes and air fresheners, etc. as well as bright lights. My first headache ever came while "enjoying" a drive-through Christmas lights display.

More on the Christmas season later - and prepare your minds, because I seriously suspect that the Grinch had Asperger's traits. After all, even Dr. Suess wasn't 100% sure why the Grinch stole Christmas. But let me remind y'all that Mr. Grinch changed for the better as a result of his experiences. Christmas and the New Year can be times of change for all of us, so let's make sure we're changing for the better.

"NOW WE EXHORT YOU, BRETHREN, WARN THEM THAT ARE UNRULY, COMFORT THE FEEBLEMINDED, SUPPORT THE WEAK, BE PATIENT TOWARD ALL MEN."