I wrote the following journal entry on September 18, 2012, after I had been married nearly five months. It delves a little into the topic of Aspies married to Aspies, and how that dynamic works . . . .
I'm concerned because I don't want to write my blog anymore, and I have no good reason to quit. So I'm hoping that if I journal some more, I'll get the other pressing thoughts off my mind and have room to plan what I'd like to write for my blog.
My life has changed so much since I started the blog, and maybe thinking about Asperger's traits just doesn't matter so much to me now that I'm a wife and about to become a mother in six months or so. My deficient energy and motivation is a much bigger concern to me at this point. So is my moodiness. These are the "unhappy" aspects of my chronic conditions [fibromylagia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and bipolar disorder]. Dealing with Asperger's syndrome is like playing a game by comparison! That's why I chose to write about Asperger's in the first place - it is something I actually seem to have "fixed" or "overcome."
Asperger's syndrome is not an ongoing stressor in my life. In fact, James's [my husband's] Aspie traits just make him that much more lovable to me, because it means I can understand him in a way few other have been able to do. I identify with him, and I don't judge him. He is the same towards me.
Sometimes I feel that James admires me more than I deserve. One of the best things about my relationship with James is that I can tell him whatever is on my mind - even it I'm ashamed of it - and he really wants to listen! He likes for me to tell him the truth, even the unhappy parts.
Last night, James was nuzzling and kissing me, and I grinned and said smugly, "I'm getting attention!" James brought that up again this morning and said he likes giving me attention. Isn't that splendid? I have long ago discovered that people thrive on attention. It's sad to think that James went a long time without getting much attention from anyone. . . . I'm so glad to be the one who gets to give him extra special attention for the rest of our lives.
I hope I'll know how to give him enough attention even after our baby arrives. I think giving the baby attention together will count as quality time with each other. There will be those looks we'll share of amusement or astonishment or horror at what the baby does. I'm looking forward to that.
"FOR ALL THE LAW IS FULFILLED IN ONE WORD, EVEN IN THIS; THOU SHALT LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR AS THYSELF."